


What's Wrong With Dean's Dick?

by PervyPenguin



Series: Dean's Dick [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Confessions, Crack, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Minor Angst, non-ABO knotting, penis problems
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 01:24:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9469286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PervyPenguin/pseuds/PervyPenguin
Summary: Something is wrong with Dean. Specifically, Dean's dick. Asking Cas for help is the only way out, no matter how embarrassing.





	

Something was wrong with Dean’s body. Specifically, Dean’s dick.

After way too long with only the company of his own hands, he’d finally been about to have some alone time that wasn’t so alone. The woman he’d picked up from the bar was gorgeous: tall, with messy black hair and bright blue eyes. They’d been making out on the motel bed, slowly stripping clothes off each other. Dean stood to shuck off his boxers.

“Oh my God!” The woman (Kelly?) exclaimed.

Dean smirked at first. He knew he was well equipped, but that was the first time he’d gotten a reaction that intense. The look in her eyes wasn’t arousal or awe, though. It was concern and a touch of fear. Dean looked down, following her gaze.

“What the fuck?”

“Uh… I think you should see a doctor for that,” Kelly said as she pulled her clothes back on. “I mean, it could be a tumor or something. Uh… thanks for the nice night.” With that, she slipped out the door, leaving Dean standing naked in the middle of the hotel room, staring at his dick. Sitting at the base of his cock was a huge lump. On its own it may only be adding an inch or so, but coupled with his natural girth, it made the base of his cock nearly fist sized.

It was definitely _not_ normal. The sight of it made his erection wilt. Thankfully the strange swelling went down as well. Dean threw on his boxers and grabbed his phone from his discarded jeans. He quickly pulled up Google and searched for “lump on dick”. He growled, dismissing the search results, all of which were for much smaller problems caused by STDs. He spent ten minutes trying every combination of search terms he could think of and still couldn’t find an answer. 

Out of patience, he called out for Cas. “Cas! Something freaky’s going on, I could use an assist.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when he heard the tell-tale sound of wings announcing Cas’ arrival. The angel was completely unperturbed at the sight of Dean in just his boxers. 

“Hello, Dean.”

“Yeah, hi. Listen, I called for a reason.” Dean scratched at the back of his neck. “I was trying to get laid and something weird happened.”

Cas was immediately on alert. “Was your partner not human? Are you hurt?”

“No, she was human. And I’m not hurt. Exactly.”

Cas narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, ‘not exactly hurt’?”

Dean ran a hand over his face. “We were making out, just getting to the good part, really. I shucked my shorts and my dick… There’s like a weird, huge lump at the base of it. She skedaddled pretty quick once she saw it. I looked online, but I can’t find what it is.”

A flush of warmth ran over Dean’s body as Cas reached out with his grace. “I can sense... something, but I’m not sure what it is. I don’t recognize it. Perhaps you should try to recreate it, so I can better understand the problem?”

“Cas!” Dean took an involuntary step back. “I’m not gonna make out with some chick just so you can check my dick!”

Cas shook his head. “No, that wouldn’t be necessary. Surely you could simply masturbate to the appropriate state.”

“That’s not… I can’t… You don’t…”

“Although,” Cas mused, “The fact that you haven’t noticed before could mean whatever it is is triggered by the participation of another. Perhaps I should assist?”

Images flooded Dean’s mind: kissing Cas, Cas’s hand running over his skin, a blissful look on Cas’ face. He shook his head to clear it. Dean was tempted. He’d thought of it so many times, it seemed that this would be the perfect opportunity. But… It wouldn’t be real. For Cas, it was just another way to help, a clinical duty. Dean would rather not have something so detached and impersonal.

“Cas. I can’t do that with you. It wouldn’t be right.” Dean sighed. He added in a whisper, “Not like this.”

“Dean, whatever this is, we need to take care of it before anything terrible happens.”

“ _No_ , Cas. I _can’t_ do it with you.”

“If you wish to pretend I’m someone else, you can.”

“Cas, you don’t _get_ it!”

“Then make me understand, Dean,” Cas growled. “Why is this such a big deal?”

“Because it wouldn’t be real!” Dean shouted.

Silence fell over the room, broken only by the steady _drip-drip-drip_ of the leaky bathroom faucet. Dean stood his ground, his chest heaving. He refused to be embarrassed by his confession. Cas had been in his mind, he had to have known before Dean’s little outburst.

It was Cas who broke the silence. “And you would… want it to be real?”

“Yes!” Dean’s hands shot up in aggravation. “What the fuck kinda question is that? You know how I feel about you; if it wasn’t real it’d wreck me.”

“The way you feel?” Cas looked bewildered. “What do you-”

“I’m in love with you, you asshole!”

“You- what?”

Dean sank onto the bed, utterly defeated. “Why are you acting surprised? You’re an angel, you can read minds.”

Cas walked towards Dean slowly, as though he was afraid to spook him. “Dean, I haven’t read your mind in years. It seemed too invasive once I came to know you.”

“Y-you really didn’t know?” Dean asked. 

“No, Dean. Why didn’t you tell me before now?”

“I thought you knew! You’d been in my head so much at first… And you never did anything about it! I mean, sometimes I thought… You’d stand too close or stare too long and I thought I might have a chance, but you never seemed interested. And then you were talking about going on a date with Nora, and I just figured it was all in my head. I was only seeing what I wanted to see.”

“Dean, I…” Cas sighed. “I wish I had known you were feeling this way. It has never been my intention to hurt you or reject you. If I had known, I could have…”

Dean looked up at Cas. His eyes shining, he asked, “You could have what, Cas?”

Instead of answering, he knelt in front of Dean. He reached a hand out and laid it against Dean’s cheek. Dean’s eyes fluttered closed and he leaned into the contact. The soft pressure of a thumb against his lip had him sighing. 

“Cas?”

Slowly, Cas closed the distance between them. He pressed his lips against Dean’s in a chaste, sweet kiss. Something inside of Dean, something tight and hard, broke. He shuddered and a few tears slid down his cheeks. Cas pulled back and a small whimper escaped Dean. 

“Shh, I’m not going anywhere, Dean.” He quickly arranged himself on the bed and pulled Dean into a tight embrace. He dragged the blankets over them. “Sleep, Dean. I’ll be here in the morning. We can figure out what’s wrong with your penis tomorrow.”

Dean gave a wet laugh. “Fuck, I nearly forgot about that.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is.... not what I had planned. This was supposed to be smutty crack, but then feelings happened instead. I may do a follow up with the ACTUAL smutty crack, but we'll see.
> 
> Anyways, this is part of an idea I had about non-ABO styled knotting. I plan to do a number of fics with that concept, and if anyone else wants to do the same, please feel free! I'm also starting a collection for this 'challenge' called "Let's Get Knotty", anyone can add to it.


End file.
